I don’t need a new year…

One word

One word to focus on, pray over, meditate on, display so it is constantly in your thoughts and mind. One word to focus and shape your entire year.

I had thought about choosing a word for 2015 around the end of December. I didn’t have a clue what mine would be and didn’t feel like giving it much thought at the time. I went on with my day not giving it a second thought. New Years came and went and the false sense of a fresh new start arrived. As much as I proclaim myself to be free from resolutions I still found myself with secret hopes, wishes and plans. I was going around the house organizing, cleaning, disposing and putting “all things” in order with expectations that if I had a fresh start my year would begin right.

Meanwhile, I found myself prioritizing the external. Changing things so I could appear to be this person that I so desperately want to be. Who doesn’t want to appear organized, put together, balanced, spiritual and of course a great mom. 

But on the inside little had changed and any change that had happened was probably for the worse. I can’t change what is inside by making the outside appear to be better. 

Why do I still try?

Sometimes I feel like I am the most ungracious person you may ever meet. I wish I could say that this ends with complete strangers, however that is rarely the case. The ones that I should love and extend the most grace to are often the ones that I forgo grace with all together. I expect so much and give so little room for error. My demand for constant perfection can be crushing, especially for a 6 year old. 

The grace I expect from others is rarely the grace that I extend.

No amount of fixing up the chaos of the external is going to change that. 

Why do I put a false hope in the beginning of a new year? Why do I think that fixing the outside will change the internal. Maybe I just hope that it will make me feel better about the parts of me that I hate. The parts that cling to sin and death.

I don’t need a new year, I need Jesus.

This doesn’t look like a new Bible plan, scheduled prayer times or a book to read. Not that God couldn’t use those. For me it is being still, listening more and talking less. Trusting completely in Christ for my salvation. It is admitting my faults, I am broken and I am imperfect. Daily setting my heart on Him and letting Him be enough. Continuously dwelling on the costly grace He has freely poured out for me. 

This is what I need.

A new hope, not a new year. 

Grace changes everything.

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  • Amen and Amen. You've captured what so many of us (moms?) deal with daily. I have an especially hard time giving grace to my 12 year old daughter. I don't know why. She's the only one of the five I have that problem with and it's beginning to show in our relationship- or lack there of. Thank you for writing this! It does my heart good!

    • Yes. I have a much harder time extending grace to my oldest than her sister. So glad to hear you enjoyed it. Thanks for giving it a read and saying hellol

  • Amen. Me, too, sister.

  • This is a really good post! Thank you!

  • Love this and your transparency!

  • Great, great post! I love the word grace, mostly because it reminds me of what I learned from one of my teachers as a child: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. 🙂

  • I LOVE this idea!

  • Love this, so true! Love the "new hope, not a new year"

  • One year my Word of the Year was Grace. It was life-changing!

  • Amen. such a good post.

  • This is such a great post and I'm sure many find this being true around the new year. Thanks for sharing!

    A Blissful Haven

  • Love this! Grace is such a wonderful thing, yet I'm not good at giving it or receiving it. Thank you for writing this. It's not easy to be vulnerable, and so much of grace involves vulnerability.

    • Thank you so much. You are so right about grace involving being vulnerable. I really hadn't connected those dots. Thank you for reading.

  • I love your honesty and I think this is something all mom's can relate too. I know I definitely can!

  • I love this, Beth. It's so true. I am guilty of trying to set goals and change the external when really it's the inside I need to change. I do it to my kids as well This is an excellent reminder!

    • Thank you so much.It is so encouraging to know that I don't struggle alone and a prayer for myself has turned into a prayer for others. God is so good.

  • Me too- so glad you shared this!

  • Great post! I chose a word this year as I thought it was a pretty neat idea but you are right I don't need a word!

    • We don't NEED a word, we need Jesus. But hey if a word helps, go for it :). It is just so nice to realize ultimately what I need is Him.

  • Thank you for being so open and honest 🙂 Such a real and wonderful post.

  • Such a raw and transparent post. Thanks for sharing so much of your heart. I think more people than you know can relate to this. Grace is easy to ask for, yet ironically is so difficult to give. Great post!

  • I can understand how you feel, I am guilty of this myself much of the time. I am doing more this year to get closer to Jesus, starting with a new bible study class on the 20th of this month every Tuesday for 11 weeks. I think that with daily devotional time a good place for me to start.

  • Amen!! Perfectly written!

  • I'm so glad that you did this post!

  • The great thing about having grace is that you can either have grace in the sense that it makes your mistakes a little less obvious. You are a wonderful person, Beth. I see that in your blog, the photos you share and the emails sent. While it's easy to get caught up in life and all the madness, there is a reason God provides us with grace. We are human. We are flawed. He knows that so He covers us with his GRACEfull love, every single day. Hugs friend!

  • I LOVE YOU!! Thanks so much for this post! I think as Mom's we all strive for perfection. It's so hard and can really bring us down. I know it does me all the time. Wishing you a very happy 2015 sweet friend!!! xo

  • Oh, yes. I need this too. Which is why my word is abide–it is getting in the word, but it is also talking to Him and listening to HIm. Thanks for sharing!

  • Amy

    Wow. This is great & spoke right to my heart. Thanks so much for opening up & sharing with us.