Care Less, Why I’m Questioning & Challenging My Focus

I have had this post in my drafts for about 6 weeks now. I’m not sure if it was a lack of sleep, something I ate, conversations that I had with others, or if I am just loosing my ever lovin’ mind. But something sparked, clicked, or possibly exploded and it came out as word vomit. I’m sorry. I know that isn’t the best or most visually pleasing expression to use, but it’s the only one that makes sense. After a period of sitting on this post I finally decided to click the publish button. 

I feel I should put out a disclaimer to warn you that I am speaking from MY heart. What I have to say is completely directed towards myself. My goal is not to offend anyone, just to share how I am feeling.

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How We Fight to Keep Our Marriage Strong

In the spirit of being completely honesty, I avoided writing this blog post for pretty much the entire day on Sunday… and Monday. I was lost at the direction I wanted to take and the advice I wanted to give on the topic of marriage. Do I look at the marriage Russ and I have and feel like we have things are going well for us, yes! But putting into words the details on how we are doing that throws me for a loop. Now would also be a good time to point out that we certainly have our fair share of disagreements and annoyances. Our relationship is by no means perfect. 

Finally, after staring at the computer screen and trying to get my thoughts organized for what felt like forever, I decided to just start writing. Wouldn’t you know it worked like a charm. I don’t think what I have to share is anything groundbreaking or new, but I do hope it encourages you to work on strengthening your marriage. 

Keeping your marriage STRONG. God, marriage, children. How and why we have set our priorities.

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Interruptions Are Your Work, How Four Words Changed My Attitude About Mothering

I was sitting in church like any other Sunday morning when the pastor began to tell a story. He spoke of a college professor and the sign that hung over his doorway. The sign was there to remind him to keep his attitude in check every time that someone walked through the door. It read…

Interruptions Are Your Work!

He went on to speak of how as Christians, we should embrace this mindset. Interruptions are our work. We are constantly given chances to do or to serve but how many times do we grumble or complain when they come at “the wrong times”. It was an oh so truthful and oh so powerful point. After the sermon concluded I couldn’t shake those four words and for the past two weeks they have weighed heavy on my heart.

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Love Is…

If I asked you to pick a word that is frequently misused, what word would you pick?

I’m sure there are several good options out there. A few that come to the top of my mind are busy, tired, poor, and hate. All are words that I know I use way too often, generally as an excuse or to make myself look or feel better about something.

But I can’t help but think of a different word… love.

Love is

We throw this word around so flippantly. We say it loosely, cheaply, and our definition of what love really is, is so far removed from truth. I have found myself wrestling with this word lately and what true love looks like. But every single time my heart is pulled to this.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ~ 1 Corinthians 13 4-8

This, this is love. 
I want to love like this and so often I fail.

Love is patient, love is kind. Wrestling over the true meaning of #love in today's #blog post. Click To Tweet

I lose my temper, I grow resentful, I have little to no patience.
I love selfishly, but expect others to love me perfectly.

Love isn’t about becoming a door mat, it isn’t sarcastic, it stands up for what is right. Love doesn’t always look the way we want it to. Love is far from easy and on this earth, love will always be tainted by sin. Try as we may we will never achieve perfect love.

There was only one man who loved perfectly and he died for us.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ~ Romans 5:8 ESV

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My Perfectly Imperfect Faith

This isn’t what I wanted to post about today. 

Penciled neatly into my brand new planner was a recap of the month of June according to #’s. It was supposed to be easy to write, something I could schedule way in advance and a light-hearted post for a Monday morning. However, my heart has felt everything but light lately. What I planned to post and what I feel I should post are two very different things. In the end my heart won out and now I’m sitting here unsure of where I should start.

Over the past week I was slammed with a phrase, by someone very close to me, that I can’t stop thinking about. Their words were spoken out of anger when my actions didn’t meet their approval. I have been thinking about any truth that could be found in their statement but more than that the lies that live in the head of someone who would say these words.

“And you’re supposed to be a Christian”

Phrase it 10 different ways if you’d like, the variations are countless. This phrase is likely one that anyone following after Christ for any amount of time has been attacked with in one way or another. The thing is this. I can’t help but think a person who accuses someone with these words is void of any understanding about what being a Christian truly means.

The world sometimes holds Christians to an unattainable level of perfection. Are Christians really perfect?
Being a Christian does not mean that you are free of temptation or sin. It doesn’t mean that you make the right choice every time. It doesn’t give you a strong marriage, all the money you need, well-behaved children, and an annoyingly effortless love for people. Being a Christian doesn’t give you super powers.

The problem with this accusation is that it comes with the impression that being a Christian makes you perfect, which simply put is a lie. The truth is there was only one person who ever lived a perfect, sinless life and he gave himself as a sacrifice to pay for our sins, my sins, the sins I continually struggle with every moment of every day.

And that is what is tearing me apart. That people buy into lies that Christians actually believe they are perfect. That someone expects me to live a perfect life and if I stumble I have not only given them a reason to mock me , but an excuse to continue living a life void of a relationship with God.

Where do I go from here? First I’d like to say that I’m not angry and forgive the person for the words they spoke. I love them very much and will continue to pray for them daily. Secondly I’d like to repent. If this false image of Christian perfection is one that I have portrayed through my words and actions, I am sorry. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God and continuously points others to him, through good times and bad.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.” Romans 1:17 ESV

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Thank You God For This Day

It started just like any other morning would: Trip to the gym, mom life all day, and some blog work scattered in between. I picked up Russ from work and as I was walking in the door my phone rang, finally. I frantically dug through my purse finding everything except the phone I so desperately wanted. After digging for what felt like forever I answered. “Hello?!” I heard “Is this Emily’s mom?” to which I answered “This is she.” And from that point of the conversation onward things just spiraled and something in me broke.

I stood in the quiet retreat of my closet for minutes after hanging up the phone. It is always the best place to take a phone calls… and to hide. At that moment hiding is exactly what I wanted to do. I braced myself against the wall, the tears began to flow, and I asked the question we all gravitate towards in hard times. 

Why? 

I had told myself I wouldn’t be upset. I told myself it was only a chance. I told myself that if God wanted it to work out, it would. I wouldn’t put my hope in it, I would put my home in God. But when He answered with a no, I crumbled. I felt helpless, scared and angry.

I hid in that closet for as long as I could, but knew I would soon be missed. Dinner time went something like forgotten ingredients, over cooked tater tots, burnt green beans, and a husband who pitched in to do half of the work because I was physically in the kitchen, but mentally somewhere else. The only good parts of the meal were the ones he handled, if not for his help we would have ended up with cereal for sure. In the last-minute chaos to get everyone to the table before the food was cold Marissa asked if I would pray for our meal. Sure, why not! I just wanted to eat.

My prayer started like this “Thank you God for this day” and then I stopped. In my head I wanted to go on but I physically couldn’t continue to speak. My throat swelled, my eyes flooded with tears, and no words came out.

Giving thanks to God in the hard times of life.
Thank you God for this day. 

Thanking God when it feels you have nothing to be thankful for. My thoughts are on the #blog today. #faith… Click To Tweet

Finally I mustered the strength to quickly finish my prayer but afterwards I sat there thinking on the words that had just choked me up. Thank you God for this day. THIS day? This day sucked. Looking back on this day there was no earthly reason to feel any thanks. Yet when I turned to speak to my Father, my heart immediately thanked Him. Call it what you want a routine way to start a prayer or a chance but at that exact moment God used those 6 simple words to speak to me.

I was reminded of the grace he shows us, the love he pours upon us and the faithfulness he has shown us on so many other days and seasons of our life when it seemed like we had nothing to be thankful for.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
1 Chronicles 16:34

Thank you God for this Day.

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