It started just like any other morning would: Trip to the gym, mom life all day, and some blog work scattered in between. I picked up Russ from work and as I was walking in the door my phone rang, finally. I frantically dug through my purse finding everything except the phone I so desperately wanted. After digging for what felt like forever I answered. “Hello?!” I heard “Is this Emily’s mom?” to which I answered “This is she.” And from that point of the conversation onward things just spiraled and something in me broke.
I stood in the quiet retreat of my closet for minutes after hanging up the phone. It is always the best place to take a phone calls… and to hide. At that moment hiding is exactly what I wanted to do. I braced myself against the wall, the tears began to flow, and I asked the question we all gravitate towards in hard times.
I had told myself I wouldn’t be upset. I told myself it was only a chance. I told myself that if God wanted it to work out, it would. I wouldn’t put my hope in it, I would put my home in God. But when He answered with a no, I crumbled. I felt helpless, scared and angry.
I hid in that closet for as long as I could, but knew I would soon be missed. Dinner time went something like forgotten ingredients, over cooked tater tots, burnt green beans, and a husband who pitched in to do half of the work because I was physically in the kitchen, but mentally somewhere else. The only good parts of the meal were the ones he handled, if not for his help we would have ended up with cereal for sure. In the last-minute chaos to get everyone to the table before the food was cold Marissa asked if I would pray for our meal. Sure, why not! I just wanted to eat.
My prayer started like this “Thank you God for this day” and then I stopped. In my head I wanted to go on but I physically couldn’t continue to speak. My throat swelled, my eyes flooded with tears, and no words came out.
Thank you God for this day.
Finally I mustered the strength to quickly finish my prayer but afterwards I sat there thinking on the words that had just choked me up. Thank you God for this day. THIS day? This day sucked. Looking back on this day there was no earthly reason to feel any thanks. Yet when I turned to speak to my Father, my heart immediately thanked Him. Call it what you want a routine way to start a prayer or a chance but at that exact moment God used those 6 simple words to speak to me.
I was reminded of the grace he shows us, the love he pours upon us and the faithfulness he has shown us on so many other days and seasons of our life when it seemed like we had nothing to be thankful for.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
1 Chronicles 16:34
Thank you God for this Day.
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