Little Letters, May 2017

The second Friday of the month is mail day! It’s the day I write random snarky & sarcastic letters full of complete randomness that is bound to get me in “trouble” some how πŸ˜† . Seriously y’all I love these posts and I hope they make you laugh as you read them. I also hope you realize that everything within this post should be taken with a grain of salt. 

So now that I have laid out my disclaimer, let’s get started!

Dear Beth,

Next time you decide to poke fun at your neighbor (see last months letter post) you should really consider the fact that they might read your blog and see such pokes… and you will feel like the back side of a horse. Oh my word y’all I felt so terrible 😳 . Thankfully he was very understanding and accepted my apology. I really feel like I should have added some homemade cookies to sweeten the things, but this no sugar ordeal means I haven’t baked in nearly a month! I would also like to add that he is a GREAT neighbor, really. 

So long story short, #1 these posts will now always and forever have disclaimers at the beginning of them and #2 you should never assume things… you know what they say happens when you assume. 

Dear People on Facebook,

I can’t even tell y’all how many times I post our house to a group on Facebook and I get asked “Will you rent it?!” Pretty sure if renting was an option, I would have said that. I guess I should just start adding that to my post. I mean, I know rentals can be a great investment… but if I ever want to build a new house I kind of need my equity money back. And don’t even get me started on all the realtors who want to list my house for me  πŸ™„ .

Dear Bathtub,

Who would have thought that you are much more slippery when you are clean. Apparently my “new-found” skill of keeping the tubs spotless is causing my daughters to fall in the shower more often.

Dear Alice Cooper,

Thank you for writing the perfect celebratory school’s out song. I listen to it full blast every single year. 

Dear Marissa,

Thank you for working so hard and being a super smart girl. You blew your placement test out of the water this year and I want to tell you all about it but you don’t need to get cocky, so I won’t.

Seriously though. Girlfriend aced her math and social science sections and her language skills were nothing short of impressive. She is such a hard-working student and I couldn’t possibly be more proud of my little 3rd grader… errrr, 4th grader now  πŸ˜₯ .

Dear Egg Whites,

You get old fast. I love that you are a healthy source of protein but eating you ever single day gets to be a bit much. Eggs on toast, egg burritos, eggs on waffles (all whole grain & sans butter, of course  πŸ˜‰ ) I need some new ways to eat eggs pronto friends. Does anyone have any genius ideas or should I just put them in a smoothie? Eeeeewwww, okay I just crossed a line and grossed even myself out. 

Dear Library Kiosk,

Thank you for letting me pay my fines in secret without the feelings of shame when the librarian loudly announces my fees as if she is broadcasting it for all to hear. I honestly didn’t realize that my child had lost a book in her toy box and I am sorry that I avoided the library for a few months after said book was returned. It wasn’t intentional. I just don’t visit the library during cold and flu season. 

Dear Tiny Box of Curriculum,

I wish I had a video of my face when I opened you up and saw the smallest pile of resources and papers than I had spent $90 on  πŸ˜• . Talk about a punch to the gut. But it was something we had to have and there was only one place to buy them, so that’s just what happens I suppose. On the other hand, Russ has been super supportive and keeps reminding me of the bright side of the picture. Still the thought of buying any more school books makes me nauseous.

Dear Baby Guy NYC,

Thank you for being hilarious. The video of you trying the Unicorn Frap and you comparing it to Amoxicillin made me #lololololol. The winner for the best description ever goes to you! Not that I would know first hand. If I consumed that much sugar I think my heart would implode.

Dear Moms,

You are truly the unsung heroes of the world and the glue of the family. I hope you have the best Mothers Day and that it includes all of the things that make you happy.

My list:
My family taking photos with me.
Coffee, lots of coffee.
The day off from refereeing fights.
Not having to cook all day long.

Love,

Have a great weekend friends!
We’ll see you back here on Monday.

Writing 'Little Letters' on the blog today Moms, Egg Whites, Alice Cooper and more. Happy Fri-Yay… Click To Tweet

Linking up with Taz and Belly for Little Letters.

  • Oh my goodness about your neighbor!!! And way to go Marissa!!

  • Jessica

    I would have wanted to crawl into a hole. Glad everything worked out. Way to go Marissa!! Smart girl! The unicorn frapp didn’t look good to me. It was pretty. It looked gross. Happy Mother’s Day!!

    • I wanted to. It was awful. I had the same exact thoughts on it. It was pretty, but equally disgusting. You too!

  • Happy Mother’s Day!! I love these tiny letters posts! I totally forgot to do one this time 😁. And yeah eggs get old. Maybe in a wrap. Maybe stir fried with different veggies like peppers, onions and mushrooms. Scrambled with a little cheese?

    • Stir fried with veggies is a fun idea! I knew I could count on you!

  • Oh, how I love these little letter days! Oops on writing about someone who reads the blog! Glad that apology was accepted…good reminder about assumptions! lol. However, I do hope some of those people from Facebook read this so you’ll stop getting questions about renting your house. πŸ˜‰ Way to rock this school year, mama! I don’t know why, but I’m a bit teary typing this! I guess it’s that I understand the pride and joy you take in your girls’ after a successful school year and the sentiment behind realizing they’ve moved up a grade! My youngest daughter will be 13 this fall and she’s been saying how sad she is that she feels like her childhood will be ending soon as she’s just a few years from high school now. Cue mom trying extra hard to soak up every bit of my girls’ sweet childhood over here! Ok, I need a kleenex already- lol. Wishing you a beautiful Mother’s Day, sweet friend! Hope everything on your list is checked and fully enjoyed …and you know I look forward to seeing those photos you’re requesting! πŸ˜‰ xoxo

    • Oh friend I felt so very, very awful. I guess that just goes to show that you can’t write in sarcasm. Oh goodness that is just so sweet that she is thinking that way. I have LOVED the past year with my girls. This has just been such a sweet time with them. I am sure you ladies are feeling the same thing. I hope you had an amazing Mothers Day with your precious family

  • That cracks me up about the neighbor! I guess you never know who is reading! hmmm egg whites with salsa?

    • Yup… lesson learned. Salsa and Sri Racha are things I alternate. It really does help.

  • Oh my gosh, your neighbor! Who is probably reading this comment right now as we speak lol. Hi neighbor! But in all seriousness, you really do never know who is reading your blog so you have to be careful what you say on the internet. I wanted to share why we’re moving but again… you never know who’s reading!

    • Baha ha! I kind of wondered if he read this. I really did learn a lesson with that one. Even if you are just teasing and being goofy, people can’t read sarcasm.

  • That’s funny about your neighbor. What you said wasn’t so bad though! Great job to Marissa on the test! Hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day.

    • I didn’t think so either but he was less than impressed, lol. Oooopppsss!

  • Heather Bramlett

    I love your letters. That is to funny about the neighbors 😬😬.
    People NEVER seem to surprise me anymore about the questions they ask! HA.

    • It was so embarrassing. I was just so surprised that he had read it. I never would have posted that in a million year if I had realized that he might. I guess I really did learn a valuable lesson.

  • Whitney Jordan

    So funny! I can’t believe your neighbor read your post about him. hahaha Maybe he’ll offer to wash your cars πŸ™‚ I hate the request to rent your home that is for SALE. Happened to us a million times in Mississippi. For SALE does not mean the same thing as FOR RENT. sheesh.
    Sending good house selling vibes your way. Happy Mother’s Day – hope you get to do some extra fun stuff with your girls. PS Sorry they’ve been slipping in the shower and sorry that story made me laugh πŸ™‚

    • Oh my goodness girl I felt SO bad. I looked at Russ and told him we HAVE to move now, lololol. I am so glad he ended up being cool about when I explained it was in now way meant to be serious. I hope you had an amazing day friend.

  • I seriously love these posts! And HILARIOUS about your neighbor! I’m always shocked when I say certain things on my blog and somebody I know in real life comments about it. I’m like… I thought only people I don’t know in real life read my blog. Lol.

    • I know. I tend to forget that lots of people read, but don’t leave comments. It’s like they are silently stalking us.

  • bahahaaahah on the neighbour thing. I love getting myself into trouble.

  • Lizzie Simantz

    Hahahaha I love these posts!! And too funny about the neighbor! I often forget other people I know might actually read my blog, gotta be careful LOL! But it’s all in good fun. I totally hear ya on the egg whites, I did that for so long and then wanted to puke at the thought hahaha. I hope you have a great Mother’s Day!!

    • It is so true. I tend to think that everyone who reads my blog, leaves comments. That is SO not true.

      I found the opposite to be true for me. The longer I eat them, the more tolerable they become…. until a month or two passes by that is :P.

  • Oh friend that’s too funny. I’ve had to be careful what I say on my blog too, because my co-workers often read my posts (even the guys, so funny!). They’ll make little comments to me about things I posted or even said in my YouTube videos – so I guess I need to stop using them as inspiration for my content. LOL! πŸ™‚ And I almost gagged on your egg white smoothie idea. Ha. I don’t really like eggs in general so I don’t have any ideas for you. Good luck! πŸ™‚

    Whitney @ Come Home For Comfort

    • Lol! Oh goodness that is so funny. It is easy to forget that the people who leave comments aren’t the only ones who read your blog. Thanks for wishing me luck! I am back to the eggs tomorrow!

  • Waiiiit, your neighbor reads your blog AND you said something snarky?! You are too much! Sounds like something that would happen to me.

    • YES!!! I had no clue he is like a young 20 something and I didn’t realize he ever checked in over here, lol! He is a SUPER nice guy and a really great neighbor. I felt like such an a$$.

  • I didn’t cook not once yesterday… let’s see how that all pans out for me on Wednesday.

    • Haha! Yeah I ate so much garbage on Saturday that I actually threw up…. not even kidding.

  • You know, it never really crosses my mind who might be (silently) reading my blog. Eeeekkk! I only think about my blog friends reading it. How naΓ―ve of me. I might be a little more cautious now. Way to go, Marissa. That is impressive. And kudos you to you, friend…you are leading and teaching her well. I hope you had the most incredible Mother’s Day.

    • I know, right?! I totally forget that not everyone leaves comments! Thank you so much. We really had an amazing day on Sunday.