In the spirit of being completely honesty, I avoided writing this blog post for pretty much the entire day on Sunday… and Monday. I was lost at the direction I wanted to take and the advice I wanted to give on the topic of marriage. Do I look at the marriage Russ and I have and feel like we have things are going well for us, yes! But putting into words the details on how we are doing that throws me for a loop. Now would also be a good time to point out that we certainly have our fair share of disagreements and annoyances. Our relationship is by no means perfect.
Finally, after staring at the computer screen and trying to get my thoughts organized for what felt like forever, I decided to just start writing. Wouldn’t you know it worked like a charm. I don’t think what I have to share is anything groundbreaking or new, but I do hope it encourages you to work on strengthening your marriage.
I feel like our marriage is always something we have prioritized. We have always chosen it over other things, but we also have consistently chosen something else over it. In our home there is a pecking order, a way that we have laid out what is important. The pecking order goes like this:
God first, marriage next, and then our children. This is the order that things have to be prioritized for our marriage to stay healthy. Some of you may be nodding your head in agreement, others may be slightly tilting your head and wondering what exactly I mean. So let’s break it down a bit.
When I say God first I am referring to my personal relationship with Christ, and Russ’ as well. I believe that relationship trumps every single other that I have. So not only do I feel like that should be a priority in my life, I want to see Russ putting Christ first in his life too. I know that if we are both loving and pursuing a relationship with God that will only bind us together and help our marriage to grow. Keeping Christ at the center of our marriage, keeps us rooted.
How and why marriage comes before children. This is a statement that can look so many different ways, especially depending on the age of your children. Ultimately it would be hard to explain to a baby or toddler that spending time with daddy comes first. But on the other hand, someday the kids will grow up and move out #allthetears. If I neglect my relationship with my spouse and continuously prioritize relationships with the kids, that unavoidable transition may not go so well. It is also a HUGE contributor to “empty-nester divorces”.
Putting our marriage above our kids has simply looked like pursuing and fighting for our marriage in the throes of parenthood. It is realizing that yes, we do need date nights, we should talk about something other than the kids, and that sharing interests outside of our children together is healthy. We also chose to make time for both of us to pursue the things that make us, us. It is so many little choices that we consciously have to make. They don’t always come easy, but they are always worth it.
What is one way you fight to keep your marriage strong?
God, Marriage, Children. Sharing how we keep the priorities of our marriage straight in this weeks… Click To Tweet
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