Finding Balance In Motherhood

Yesterday we said so long to summer break and went back to school.

It’s a weird time for us because on one hand nothing seems to change, but on the other hand everything changes. I go from being summer fun mom that keeps pretty loose rules to teacher mom who tends to be overly strict in the blink of an eye. I don’t like it one little bit friends and sometimes I don’t know how I can find balance.

Do you ever struggle with that as a mom?
Finding balance?

Finding BalanceIn Motherhood
Some days it feels like I am in the circus.

I feel like I’m 25 feet off the ground on a unicycle with clowns balancing on my shoulders. It probably looks like sure failure to spectators, but I am naively optimistic that things will work out fine. I keep heaping more and more on myself not considering the weight of my load, how high up I am, and what is at risk. At a certain point I get nervous, what have I done? But by then I feel like it’s too late to back out and I just have to go. Sometimes I make it across, but there is always a cost. I am exhausted, sore, angry, and useless, sometimes for days on end. Other times I fall and the mess it creates is nothing short of chaos.

The analogy may be creative, but I think the picture it paints rings true for so many moms.

Why do we twist the phrase ‘finding balance’ into something literal?

We convince ourselves if we find the perfect way to stack it all up, we can carry as much as we want. After all, we got this! I recently hung a picture over my desk that says those very words, you got this. As I look up at it while writing this post I feel overwhelmed with conviction.

Conviction of bearing loads to heavy for me to carry well and the way I treat others when the stress of the load I gave myself is too much. Conviction over portraying a twisted picture of balance to other moms. One that says: you too can do it all, just keep piling it on just right. Conviction of relying on myself and my strength far too much.

Talking about #motherhood and #balance in today's blog post. Click To Tweet

I’d love to say that I have answers for you. Here are 5 steps to find more balance in your life, a formula that guarantees success in a week or less. The truth is I don’t really know what that looks like right now.

So my challenge for you is to think, pray, and dwell on this:
Are you piling more on when you should be laying things down?
What happens when the load gets to heavy?
How do you respond?
How can you lighten the load you carry?
Why do you think you can do it all?

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

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  • Jessica

    Girl I hear ya. School hasn’t started here and my kiddos aren’t elementary school age, so I don’t really have to worry about “school night rules”, but I definitely struggle with balancing it all. I’ve realized I tend to be stricter with Cam than I should be and need to back off a bit.

  • Oh, I’m with ya. I can totally be the no-fun stressed mom more than I’d like. I need to keep reminding myself to pause and lay it down to the Lord.

  • Meghan Flinn

    I’m still in total laid back summer mode and I feel like I’m the mom who can’t say no anymore. We are gonna be in for a major shock when school starts ;). Right now I feel overwhelmed with simple things like cleaning and getting to the grocery store. The desire to just have a laid back summer is conflicting with my desire to have the house in order and keep up with the blog. Balance is not being achieved right now and I wish cleaning was the thing I could eliminate ;). Too bad that won’t fly!

  • Oh balance. I struggle with it so much! I’m going to have to majorly prep my kids and myself before school. In some ways I feel overwhelmed with struggling to give them a fun summer, overscheduling or letting them totally chill all the while still trying for healthy meals and some semblance of order here!!

  • Balance is sooo sooo difficult. I totally feel like I am in a circus some (ok most) days too. These are such good question to think about. As always, great post! 🙂

  • Finding the perfect balance is a constant struggle for me. And just when I feel like I’ve achieved it, things change and I’m left struggling again. Going back to a school year definitely is one of those big changes. Hang in there, mama. I hope you are able to find YOUR perfect balance.

  • I so needed to read this today! Yesterday I felt like I had a reel running nonstop in my head. There is just never enough time and I always over budget ever bit I have. I was in a crappy place yesterday but hoping to turn it all around today!

  • Oh how I find this to be true for at times, too! One thing I always try to do when I’m overwhelming myself is to take a step back and look and round me (literally and rounded figuratively). Usually when I do that, I can see things that aren’t as important as I’m making them or even things that aren’t part of my goals or intentions. 🙂

  • Definitely difficult, and especially for you as a homeschooler. I get my time off when my kids go to school!

  • Ruthie Gray

    Girl, this resonates with all mamas I think. Myself included. When my kids got to be about your kid’s age, I began practicing the art of saying “no”. I got really good at it, and at protecting my (our) time.

    But it’s just like the struggle with anger – or anything else. It’s not a lesson learned once and for all. In this season of life for me, I’m taking on more than I should again. (Ahem – the blogging monstrosity.) So, I’m learning my best yes and how to say no.

    Excited to share this with my fb readers and Beth, thank you for your honest description. That’s what resonates with readers. Praying for you!

  • OH my goodness this post, yes! Right now our daycare provider is out on leave, and we’ve been having to scramble to find ways to fill in, and boy is it stressful! I think when I pile too much on I get snippy with my family, mostly my kids, which I always regret and feel bad about just after it happens. We like to think we can do it all, but sometimes we just have to say no.

  • Girl, this is the game that I constantly play in my head… how do I balance wife-ing, mommy-ing, working, blogging, and the nine million other hats that I wear?? It is definitely a daily struggle and I still haven’t found the answer… if I ever do, I’ll be sure to share it with you!

    • Please, oh please tell me then write a book and become a millionaire :P.

  • chall1018

    As I am reading this I am thinking, “whew, glad we have a couple more weeks before school starts!” I’m not ready! But I also know that I will be jealous when you guys get out for summer a few weeks before us. With homeschool do you get to pick your start/end dates? Or are they state regulated? Yes! I find myself struggling to find balance in so many areas, especially motherhood. Love this perspective, and of course the verse! Thank you for sharing sweet friend.

    • We are totally free to school however we want. But each state has different laws. Missouri is pretty easy going. We do keep a regular 36 weeks of school like the public schools do. But we only do 4 day weeks since most of our Fridays we are at our co-op attending classes there.

      You are welcome.

  • Talk about putting this phrase into perspective. You have a way with words, Beth. Youre a blessing.

  • I have to say, your spiritual foundation posts with the probing questions, often ones will all struggle with as moms, are absolutely my most favorite posts od your’s. Something about them, just sings to my soul. Thank you for being so transparent.

    • Thank you so much for saying that Amanda. I feel like I have been writing a few more of them than usual lately, but usually they just happen. For instance, when I started the beginning of that post I was planning to go in a totally different direction, but something happened and I ended up with that instead. I am so happy to hear others find them helpful too.

  • I can tell you that I have been struggling with “doing it all” and with school and MOPS right around the corner it’s going to get a whole lot busier.

    Thank you for putting into words what so many struggle with.

    • Thank you for that late night Facebook chat that I feel like inspired this post. Prayers for the next few weeks friend.

  • Desiree @ Macke Monologues

    Amen. Amen. Scott and I *just* had a discussion about how to take some of the load off, for me in particular. I’m SO bad about thinking I can/need to do it all as a mom, and asking for help sometimes seems like a blow to the ego. However, when I take on too much I am not the mom or wife that I want to be.
    Phew. That said, I’ve been asking Scott to help A LOT more with kid duty (especially of the night time variety, when Julia’s been up 3-4 times, Marcus has a nightmare, and all I want to do is close my eyes)!

    • So glad you are asking for help friend and talking about this with Scott. Sometimes we just silently suffer through and that is never helpful

  • Yes!! I was just writing about finding rest this fall- it something I really think we need to remember. So glad you shared this!

  • Definitely will be rethinking my balance as our summer comes to a close in the next month…great thoughts!

    • Thanks Deena. Funny how the season of the year also mean changes for our seasons of life.