Hi, friends! I’m Shelly and I blog over at Windy City Baby. I am so excited to be part of this Girl Mom Series!
I am a 30-year-old working, newly-turned single mama to two-year-old, independent, strong-willed Josephine.
With the recent events that have changed my life dramatically, I have never felt more blessed to be a girl mom.
When I was in my 20’s and even into my pregnancy, I always thought I would like my first child to be a boy. I have an older brother and always had visions of my own family looking the same way: the protection of an older brother and a daughter who could hold her own because of that brotherly influence.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, my intuition said it was a girl. I am positive that the ultrasound tech at my 20-week scan thought I was crazy because I did not look surprised in the least when she revealed it was a girl—ecstatic, yes…surprised, no. In my heart I knew I was going to be a girl mom.
Surprisingly enough, I never felt disappointed. I never felt like my dream wasn’t shaping up the way I thought it would. I knew that God was giving me a girl for a reason; just as with everything else in life, He had a plan.
Now, more than ever before, I thank God that he gave me that girl. Knowing that Josephine is going to be my one and only has me feeling fortunate beyond belief that I am a girl mom and that Josephine is and will continue to be my whole world and eventually my best friend.
Becoming an unexpected single mom has allowed me to think about being a girl mom a little bit differently and appreciate the experience so much more. So, I would like to share my top five positives of being a girl (single) mom!
Raising a boy as a single mom seems a heck of lot scarier than raising a girl. Motherhood is never easy and so many aspects of it are scary in general. Raising a boy as a single mom seems terrifying to me. I would be afraid that the point would come when I just didn’t know how to relate or how to handle a boy. I would also fear that lack of an every day positive male influence. Of course, raising Josephine as a single mom is intimidating, too, but I am confident that I will be a good role model for her and she will be surrounded by strong female influences.
I can be a role model for her. This is not to say that parent’s aren’t role models for their children no matter the gender. I believe in the unique situation that I am in that it is necessary for Josephine to see that women can be strong and self-reliant. My hope in all of this is that Josephine will learn the value of an education and career for a woman. Whether she plans to have a career or be a stay-at-home mom, I want her to know that it is ultimately her choice. She will recognize, because of me, that she has the ability to take control of her own life and pursue what she loves so that she should never be reliant on anyone else for her happiness.
- Then there is the fun stuff: shopping, princesses, bows, tutus, hair, make-up, clothes, shoes, ballet classes, glitter, and everything else that comes along with being a girl mom. These little things make every day just a tad more fun. I love nothing more than picking out outfits with Josephine every day, and it’s only going to get more fun the older she gets.
- I have a forever friend. I was always told, “a son is a son till he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter all her life”. Now, I know in many cases this is not true. In my own family, my brother and I are both very close to my parents. With a boy, though, the fear that he will marry and move on just seems more real. Being a girl mom has me more confident, even when she is grown, we will remain best friends, just as I have with my mom and she with hers. I totally envision a Lorelei and Rory Gilmore relationship in our futures;-)
- We can and will be inseparable! At this point in time, Josephine and I are each other’s whole worlds. She will grow up knowing that I was always there and did everything I could to make a good life for her, despite the choices of others. In thinking about the future we will have together, I can imagine all the things we will do and the experiences we can share together because she is a girl (vacations, spa weekends, movie night sleepovers in mama’s bed, mani/pedi dates, etc.). If I had a boy, I am not sure that we would be able to share all of those experiences. Sure, I would make memories with a son and make a good life for him, but I don’t think it would come with the ease and closeness that being a girl mom does.
Being a girl mom is more than I ever bargained for, and at the same time, it’s been the most rewarding experience. I can’t imagine my life turning out any other way or wanting anyone else but Josephine to be part of it!
Thanks for reading and for allowing me to share my girl mom experience, and thanks to Beth for hosting this series!
Shelly, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You will be in our thoughts and prayers as you start this new chapter of your life together. Josephine is blessed to have a mama who loves her so much.
Make sure you stop by Windy City Baby, say hello and follow along.